So much love

We recently got a puppy from our friend. She’s the cutest pup there is, so cute and sweet! Look at her! 


I feel like I have a toddler following me all the time. She loves to snuggle and loves to squeeze in between the hubs and me in bed. 

I can almost imagine having a real child, our real human baby. If I can love a pup this much, what more my very own child. My heart is bursting with love, I hope it becomes a reality soon.

Time to get rid of honeymoon weight

When my husband and I were still dating, I was quite active – I went to Pilates class about 4 times a week; ran/walked for 1-2 miles at least once a day; and ate healthily (organic, low carb/high protein). 

And then he moved to the US to be with me. Ha!

I remember one conversation we had before sleeping. I told him that research shows that newly-wed couples tend to gain weight because they’re happy. He asked me: ‘So does that mean you’re very happy?’ LOL! But his question was also a wake-up call. In the almost two years we’ve lived together, I gained 25 lbs! Yikes!

When we had our initial fertility consult, the ob-gyn asked me if I exercise and how often. Of course, I came clean. She explained the importance of exercising both for me and the future baby (crossing my fingers!). She said that exercise helps with PCOS and also decreases the risk for gestational diabetes. The hubby just gave me a look – I understood that look.

So last week, we started working out together. The workout entails 40-50 mins of weights and total body exercise, 6 days a week. We push each other, we encourage each other, we’re bonding.

I’ve lost 5 lbs so far. 🙂

<1%

So, our ob-gyn explained to the the hubs and me that she would still need to order a progesterone test once I get a (+) OPK. During our consult, she explained (quite thoroughly, tbh) that women with PCOS often have (+) OPK results, but not ovulate. I told her that since being off the patch, I’ve been getting high and peak results on the OPK.

On the day of the (+) OPK, I sent an email to Dr. M. I was really optimistic! All of our blood tests were okay. There shouldn’t be a reason that we’re not pregnant yet.

And then came the progesterone test result…

My level came out at .2 ng/dL; standard range => 10 ng/dL post-ovulation. That means, I didn’t ovulate and I’m probably a guy all along (trying to see some humor here, pardon me).

I received an email from Dr. M, confirming what I’ve read so far. She explained that with my level, there’s <1% chance of getting pregnant on our own. I couldn’t help but cry. My dear husband tried to console me and said that that’s why we’re getting help.

Let’s see what happens next…

Tests and blood – ugh

Since receiving a referral to the fertility specialists, my husband and I (mostly I) have been undergoing numerous lab work. If you know me, you’d know that blood and yours truly don’t mix. That’s quite ironic because my mom is a physician and I’m married to one -karma maybe? Hehe.

Anyway, so aside from my immense fear of blood and needles, my veins are very hard to palpate. My initial blood work required 13 – THIRTEEN!!! – test tubes worth of blood. The lab lady, bless her heart – tried three times to get a vein on my left arm to no avail. I looked like an embroidery project. She then shifted to my right arm and went in again – FAIL! She explained that she needed to pass me on to her colleague, and fearing that my right arm might look like my left, I said please. 

The new lab person did a double torniquet just to make a vein pop out. When he finally found one (a tiny one on the outer side), I asked, would you be able to get enough sample? He said, ‘we’ll try’. Oh boy.

So there I was, close to fainting, also praying that my vein would not collapse and give 13 test tubes worth of blood sample. On the 9th or 10th tube (I lost count, I was pinching myself to keep awake), the blood flow started to slow down. Teasing teasing slooooow. 11, 12, 13!!! My vein made it! We did it! Even the lab guy looked relieved. Whew! 

Waiting game begins…again.

TTC

I never thought I’d want kids of my own. Sure, I love kids – but I love them more when I’m able to return them to their ‘owner’. I’m good at taking care of my godchildren and nieces/nephews; but at the end of the day, I’m thankful for the peace and solitude and even more thankful that I can sleep in after a tiring day.

Then I got married. My husband and I – we both didn’t want children before we got married. And then something happened. I don’t know if it’s my biological clock ticking or seeing my husband’s longing face while we were watching the Jason Bateman/Jennifer Aniston movie The Switch or something else. Suddenly, I want to have a child with the man I love. And even more suprisingly, my husband said yes – he even already had a name for our yet-to-be-conceived child.

So, I stopped wearing the patch and we tried timing our BDing. Nothing. Ever the paranoid and impatient one, I emailed my attending ob-gyn and asked if maybe I should be checked. We were advised to wait 6 months until the side effects of the patch have worn off. So, I waited. Month after month. On the very first day of the 6th month, I sent another email, this time, as a 36 year old woman. I received a reply from the subsitute ob-gyn that since I’m already 36 years old, she’ll refer me to the fertility clinic.

And so begins our TTC journey…