Just for a day…

My dear husband and I have been trying to conceive. Because I’m 36, we were advised to seek fertility help. We started seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) in July and have been following advice on this baby journey since. I’ve also been going to the acupuncturist to help with this process.

A few days before our IUI, I had one mature follice (18) and two medium ones (15 and 14). We did the IUI on October 20th. And then the two week wait began.

Last week, I started feeling odd, vivid dreams, hot flashes, bad cold. I was told to do a beta HCG on Nov 1, but I didn’t. I continued to wait. HPTs were negative. Then, finally went in on Nov 3.

Fertility nurse called on Nov 4 – we were pregnant! Tears! Kisses!

And then the baby was gone. I know it wasn’t a baby yet, but for me, it was. Chemical pregnancy is what the doctor said.

Tears… I was a mom for a day.

TTC

I never thought I’d want kids of my own. Sure, I love kids – but I love them more when I’m able to return them to their ‘owner’. I’m good at taking care of my godchildren and nieces/nephews; but at the end of the day, I’m thankful for the peace and solitude and even more thankful that I can sleep in after a tiring day.

Then I got married. My husband and I – we both didn’t want children before we got married. And then something happened. I don’t know if it’s my biological clock ticking or seeing my husband’s longing face while we were watching the Jason Bateman/Jennifer Aniston movie The Switch or something else. Suddenly, I want to have a child with the man I love. And even more suprisingly, my husband said yes – he even already had a name for our yet-to-be-conceived child.

So, I stopped wearing the patch and we tried timing our BDing. Nothing. Ever the paranoid and impatient one, I emailed my attending ob-gyn and asked if maybe I should be checked. We were advised to wait 6 months until the side effects of the patch have worn off. So, I waited. Month after month. On the very first day of the 6th month, I sent another email, this time, as a 36 year old woman. I received a reply from the subsitute ob-gyn that since I’m already 36 years old, she’ll refer me to the fertility clinic.

And so begins our TTC journey…